missmaryr | Entries tagged with musing

When I first got Oliver, I didn't want him.

I was in the middle of a divorce, and I already took two big black cats with me from the large double-wide trailer I left to my soon-to-be-ex-husband when we separated. We had split custody of the kids. He earned about two and a half what I did, so he kept the house and I took the car, the smaller expense. At first I stayed in a tiny single-wide in the same town, before moving to another town closer to work. I had just moved into a two-bedroom duplex, when he informed me he intended to leave as well. He could only take one dog with him, and he wanted to take Hope, his large dog.

He allowed the kids-two boys, both in middle school-to adopt the mongrel puppy in addition to the large dog he already had after I moved out. So he gave me a choice. I could take Oliver in, or he would take the half-grown puppy to the pound. I took him in so the kids wouldn't lose their dog.

Yes, the ex was a manipulative asshole. I never realized just how much of an asshole until he moved out of state and I no longer saw him frequently. He's on his third wife and has not changed at all. I don't even talk to him if I can avoid it.

Anyway, I took in Oliver against my better judgement. I don't like dogs much, not even small ones, but I looked after him, doing the feeding and all, and we developed a tenuous bond over time. Dogs need more attention than cats, and I always resented that extra care.

Time passed, and Oliver grew old.

He tended to lie on his dog bed and tilt his head to every sound between naps. He still went outside to pee, but would wind up at the front door instead of the back most of the time. He came to the door to greet me, stole the cat's food whenever he could (my oldest cat, 22, gets canned food instead of dry), and when he had warning and no door access, peed in the cat's litterbox.

He developed cataracts, and a skin condition where he constantly chewed on himself. We spent money on the vet-several hundred dollars-only to have it start up again less than a month later. I gave it another few months, went back, and requested that he stay on steroids. It was the only thing that stopped the itching. His weight skyrocketed, and he started having problems with incontience, but he wasn't constantly chewing on himself. We put a retired shower curtain under his dog bed, washed it when we needed to, and decided he was better off comfortable than thin or contient. I still don't regret that decision.

He seemed better, but the day before Thanksgiving, my elder son told me, "He's walking funny, Mom." As Oliver was due to go to the vet for kennelling and had an appointment for Saturday-a steroid checkup, basically- I went on with my holiday plans.

On Black Friday, after an early (three o'clock in the morning early) day of shopping, my niece, sister in law, and I sat at a nice restaurant to eat and I get a call from the vet. Oliver had died.

I am not going to miss cleaning up after him. I am not going to miss having to feed the old fart of a cat twice because I forgot to shet the door and keep Oliver out. I am not going to miss the vet's visits.

But that corner of the rooms seems very empty, and no one greeted me at the door today.

Current Mood: sad

My son Philip tended to experience chaos throughout his education.
( Read more... )

Current Mood: contemplative

The good part is, I did make it to the 50,000 words. The bad part? Not only does it need to be rewritten from scratch, I need to finish it. This will be about 75,000 to 100000 words by the time I do finish. I'm not going to touch it until at least January.

I intend to finish a novel I was working on before instead. Along with this, I am going to write a request fanfiction.

But the novel I started with NaNo will be good when I do get to it. i have the basics, and so the rest will come when I rewrite.

For this year-it is done, and triumphantly done.

Rock and write on!

Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: Enya

I was reading the news when the matter of the legality of same sex marriage came up, and got me just plain riled.

First off, I am going to reference an article I saw once, that I think every single religion should take up: We may or may not approve of same-sex relationships, but we do not have the right to judge others. Only God does.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. All the claptrap that revolves around such is not 'family values'. Gays and lesbians in the closet have raised children for centuries without those children being affected any differently than a traditional marriage. It's not going to be any different now. Most people who have problem with same sex relationships go on about sin and family values when the real problem revolves about their personal distaste for the matter and their desire to desrtoy anything that goes against their world view. In other words, they're prejudiced in the same way the Nazis were (and are) against Jews and the KKK/white supremacists are against anyone who is not Caucasian.

Want to look at history? There was plenty of gay action going on, if you know where to look for it. Historically, we tend to throw out what we don't want our children to see, so digging is necessary. Greek, Babylonians, Romans,Egyptians, etc, saw nothing in gay relationships, as long as the family line was carried on.

Early Christians did frown on gay relationship; however, they also frowned on any kind of sex outside of marriage, according to Paul, and the only reason he approved of marriage is one, children were necessary, and two, you ain't going to have many converts if you disallow sex as a sin. Christianity would have died an early death otherwise, and he knew it, probably from personal experience.

Marriage was never intended to be for sex in the first place. Marriage was intended to protect children and property. Marriage for centuries was a means for social networking, irregardless of the feelings of the people involved.

In this day and age, do we need marriage for that? No. We began to regard marriage as an expression of devotion to a loved one. If we regard marriage as that, then there is absolutely no reason to block the marriages of two people who love each other and want to express that love formally.

In the legal sense, with marriage as a means to provide benefits through work for children and long-term or formal relationships, there needs to be another means to provide it. Registering as partners instead of marriage, maybe. Some cities provide that kind of registration as a means to get around common-law crap that is so screwed up it's not funny.

I think that what people do in their private life needs to be that-private, with one important exception: that no one is being hurt. Abuse is not appropriate in any form, of partners or of children. This CERTAINLY includes any kind of behavior that encourages sex between minors and adults. I have done enough social work to know that there is no such thing as a consenting child when it comes to sex. Children are ALWAYS damaged by sex, no matter what pedophiles tell you; I'm not speaking philosophically, but in real life, practical terms. They are not ready physically or emotionally for that kind of mature behavior, and they are always damaged by it in some way. Children cannot consent to sex. Even older adolescents are not ready for a mature relationship with an adult in the times that we live in. Sure, teenagers are going to mess around with each other. That is a normal exploration behavior of adolescents. But they still see adults as authority figures, and so any adult having sex with them is taking advantage of an inexperienced, immature partner. That is a form of abuse, and certainly an indication that something is wrong with that adult's morals and maturity.

In other words, folks, mind your own business!

Current Mood: irritated

Another Day, Another Dollar

I saw the bus rush right past the stop even as I ran to get there. The driver never hesitated; he saw no one at the stop and he flew into the right turn and was gone, with me left gazing at the advertising on the back. At that moment, I hated Smokey the Bear and hoped he burned in a forest fire lit by a cigarette thrown by a careless driver. Since most of the time a motivated turtle can outrun me, normally I got up early enough to stroll to the bus stop and be on time. Normally the bus was fifteen minutes late. So of course the day I'm five minutes late, the bus was right on time for the first time in the three months I'd used it.

I stood and gulped breath while I wondered what to do. The next bus arrived in two hours, and I could not afford to lose any time from work. Since I started student teaching, the boss cut me back to Saturdays. I was working the whole day, sure, but it was still a cut of four hours a week.

A job awaited me as soon as I got my teacher’s certificate. I just had to get through the next two months. My parents couldn’t help; Dad just lost his job and was getting unemployment. I was living with two other students in a duplex. They were scraping by just like I was. I had a student loan which would pay the rent, the dregs of my savings for gas and the utilities, but this job was paying for food. I couldn’t afford to miss so much as an hour. I was eating a lot of noodles as it was!

The bus had to run in a half-circle, hitting this same street in about a quarter mile. Running that quarter mile was the only chance I had to avoid eating cheap pasta three times a day for a week. I had not run that far since I got out of PE in high school. I can make it, I told myself. I have to.

I took a deep breath and started running. I ran out of sidewalk within about a hundred feet. Fortunately, the grass was not knee high here, and the morning was cool and crisp. Running on the grass slowed me a little, but finally I got to the strip mall, and there was sidewalk again. By this time the breath was burning in my throat, and I was heaving. I could see the bus approaching, and the image of monotonous meals helped me speed up.

The light was green as the bus approached the intersection. I kept running, but I was sure he would keep going like last time. All that work for nothing!

But this time I was in luck. This time, he had a stoplight and a left turn. The light went yellow, and the bus stopped. I made it across the street, and the door opened. Heaving, I dumped my coins in the box and trudged to a seat. Once I got to my stop, I still had a quarter mile walk to the store, where I would be on my feet all day, but I could live with that. I would get a full paycheck next week.

Another day, another dollar.

I like fanfiction. I read a lot of it. However, my older son, who is desperately looking for work but can't find it, reads a lot of fanfiction because he likes it and he has a lot of free time. Since we both read it, he tends to tell me about fanfiction he likes, but we have a major disagreement about the Harry Potter fanfictions.

I hate, absolutely hate, the huge group of fanfictions that bash Dumbledore. They get my goat in a major way.

Most of them have Dumbledore as a manipulative bastard who is convinced that he is right in everything he does and who is risking Harry for
"the greater good." They use the statements of Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, as absolute truth and exaggerate them out of proportion. I told my son that what they are really doing is justifying the flaunting of authority because people in charge are always wrong.

Aberforth, in the seventh and last chapter, is Albus Dumbledore's brother. He is bitter because Albus' friend, Grindenwald, killed their sister while they were fighting, and I believe that he is also bitterly jealous of his brilliant and respected brother. His view is warped, and reading the novel it is clear that his view was warped.

Yes, Albus Dumbledore did talk to Grindenwald about gaining power, with the excuse that it was for the 'greater good'. However, before they acted on these plans, his innocent sister was killed, and he came to his senses. From that moment, he did not trust himself with power. He could have had the job of Minister of Magic anytime he wanted it, and those who held the job knew it. He led the Order of the Phoenix, but he did not use it to gain power; they worked behind the scenes. He did not put Harry in danger; he did his best to shelter Harry from it.

Most people point out that Dumbledore did not give the Dursley's a choice in taking Harry in. They point out that Harry was a minor and did not consent to taking part in the Triwizard Tournament. They point at the fifth book, where Dumbledore began Harry's training.

First, by the Durley's own admission on the first and fifth novel, they did have a choice in taking Harry, and they agreed to do so. As Dumbledore said, Petunia did not want to, but she did take him, because otherwise Harry had almost no chance of surviving when the Death Eaters came for him, and they would have gone for him out of spite if for no other reason. Moreover, while Harry was neglected, it is clear he was not abused. I was a social worker for twelve years, and believe me, there is a huge difference between the two. Unfortunately, I can remember a large number of children who would tell you that they would trade places with Harry in a second. I'm not saying his situation was good; Dumbledore admitted that, but I agree with his statement that Harry was better off than Dudley until in the last book, when Dudley showed he learned something from his encounter with the Dementor.

The Triwizard Tournament was set up to take names from volunteers. The assumption was that everyone who entered agreed to the Magical Contract. It took a great deal of power to circumvent the precautions on the Goblet of Fire. If there was any way to get Harry out of the Tournament, Dumbledoor would have used it.

Dumbledore trained Harry in the fifth book because he was dying. He wanted to give Harry the best chance he would get. He admitted in the last book that not only did he care about Harry, but he risked the final outcome of the inevitable confrontation between Harry and Lord Voldemort because he loved Harry too well and wanted him to have as much of a childhood as he could possibly give him before Harry had to risk his life.

In the first few books, Dumbledore is something of a Gary Stu, but in the last two books we see his weaknesses and his mistakes. He was a powerful wizard, only too aware of his shortcomings and with a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders that he did not even get public credit for.

I get tired of seeing a good character bashed because a bunch of idiots like bashing authority. I like Dumbledore's character a great deal, because, strangely enough, he reminds me of a lot of people I met doing social work, mostly foster parents, teachers and other social workers. There are a lot of people like him, who work their tails off to help other people, and are often underpaid and overworked. They almost never get appreciated for their work.

It's only fanfiction, but it still gets me riled. Why can't people find someone else to inflict their nastiness on?

Current Mood: aggravated

It's October, and I'm looking at all the Halloween stuff and thinking of 1) where it came from and 2) how it's changing.

Halloween night used to be what now we make a mockery of- a frightening night, when the dark fears that all of us have take shape before the holiness of All Saints Day drives them away. There were no pumpkins, but they used turnip. I tried that once and nearly cut my hand to pieces, in addition to breaking two knives. Maybe the ones they had then weren't so blasted hard.

Remember, back then, superstition was rampant. Illness took some people and not others; tragedy befell people left and right. About half the women died in childbirth, and more than half of the children died before they reached adulthood. Famine and floods and storms came from nowhere. There were real fears of great evils.

We think we have it bad? You remember all those pictures of Haiti when the hurricane went through? That was most of Europe in the Dark Ages. Forget the noble romances you read- that was less than five percent of the population. Life was short and hard and miserable, and heaven was the only relief they could hope for.

Back on topic, nowadays we don't have much respect for what hides in the dark. We fear being hurt by bad people, we fear cancer and other diseases, and we fear natural disasters, but we have some idea of what we are dealing with! We don't fear evil except in an abstract sense. Many (okay, most) of us do not believe in true evil, only the harsh and barbaric side of human nature. We feel we have some control over our lives.

But something else I have notices, and this is a direct result of many churches' influence. Halloween is turning more into 'harvest festivals' and other celebrations of fall. Now, there is not a thing wrong with this. Harvest used to be a time of celebration, before the frugality that had to follow in winter.

But in a way, these churches are acknowledging something. They are acknowledging the background of Halloween, of the darkness that everyone fears in some primitive part of their minds. Since they cannot acknowledge the holy day that follows (honoring saints being an acknowledgement of the fact that their basic religion came from the Roman Catholic Church and therefore anathema) they seek to combat that fear by replacing its recognition with another celebration.

Ironic, isn't it, that they're doing what those poor superstitious peasants did in their own way?

Current Mood: quixotic

I just bought a freezer and a membership to one of the bulk shopping centers.

When I was young, the freezer was an essential for the family. I have four brothers and three sisters, and three of the boys were teenagers at the same time. The amount of food they could shovel in would shame a hog.

We lived in an area that did a lot of farming, what they used to call truck farming. They did grown bulk crops like rye and corn, but they often grew collards (for the non-Southern US folks out there, this is a kind of leafy green like spinach), corn , tomatoes, green peppers, and the like. Most were sold at the local farmer's market. They also had orchards-I worked part time in the summers with the peaches. When a field was 'picked out' for the season, the farmers would often tell people, my parents included, that they could get what was left before the field was plowed for the next crop.

We also had a large vegetable garden, and most years, Dad would" buy a a cow" and have it processed once a year. Mom bought as much as she was allowed when stores had sales. This meant that a freezer was essential, because all the meat and most of the vegetable were frozen for use at later dates.

I got a small freezer, because I am sick and tired of missing out on bargains because my fridge freezer is full. I am a magnet for bargains; I don't know how many times my boys asked me why I got something new, and the answer was, "It was on sale." I almost never buy meat at full price (the price of meat nowadays is outrageous and at times I consider being a vegetarian) and I am more than will to buy bread and freeze it.

The membership club I am a little more dubious about. I trudged through, and while the prices are good, I don't know if I'll be able to buy enough to make it worth my while. I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

Well, time will tell if I get my money back eventually.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Enya

I am a contract worker. I earn a salary and work full time, but I go from place to place as I'm sent. However, my shortest assignment was three months, and the longest three years, so you might say the jobs aren't real temporary. I work in the medical records department of hospitals doing medical coding.

For the last 17 months, I have done the work and then gave it to someone else to enter into the computer, as everyone assumed that I would be gone in a few months. However, seeing that it's now past a year and will be at least one more month, someone High Up decided it was worth losing half a day's work for me and another coder to teach me the system they use for entering their work. The system is a dinosar from the Dark Ages of DOS, and not vey user friendly.

I found it entertaining that they did this and forgot to ask for a password to the system for me. It's going to be next week before I get into the system to do the work.

Anyway, I was called into the manager's office to provide the information so they could begin the password process, and she asked if Iwas going home to work. I told her that would have to be worked out with my home office. I sincerely doubt that request would be honored, because there are a fair amount of people who do work from home in the agency, and that assignment would go to them. I might be asked if that was what I wanted to do, and my answer would be a resounding "No thanks!'

Two of the reasons are practical. Now, I do have a production amount I am expected to meet, and being salaried means that I stay until I meet it or have extenuating circumstances, like being trained on the new system. But if you work at home, you are paid by the record and not by salary. Part of what I am paid for is the inconvenience of never knowing where I'll work next. While I've always worked in my home state, I could possibly be sent to another. We had several people I worked with went to Atlanta, the idea of which gives me the willies-WAY too big a city for my comfort zone! But if I were assigned there, I would go. If I work at home, I don't have that inconvenience and I take a pay cut for it.

As I am the sole support of two young men in their twenties who are in community college and can't find even part-time work in this depressed economy- and my state is one of the harder hit- I can't afford a pay cut right now even if I wanted to work from home.

The other practical reason is that the two aforementioned boys are home a lot, and we would all go insane if I was home with them, part of the problem being that both of them are internet geeks, and I would have to kick them off to work.

The personal reason is that I am very much an introvert. I'm not good at getting out and meeting people. I managed to find a church and I stay active in it, which helps. But a lot of my social contact outside of my family is work. As much as I hate dragging my oversized rear end out of bed every morning and driving an hour to work, and however much I want to leave at the end of the day, I want to go somewhere to work. I really do not like the idea of working at home. I want home to be where I let my hair hang down and relax.

Now, when the boys are gone and I use one of their bedrooms as a home office, that will change. I'll have space for work and for home, and manage that way. Then, I'll be able to take the pay cut. Then, I'll make more of an effort to get out and join clubs and the like.

But right now, I want to work-at work.

Current Mood: contemplative

My Sunday School class is doing essentially a seminar on other world religions, and it started me down a well worn path of an irritation I have that I think I share with a lot of people.

I don't like it when people try to put God in a box. I am not just refering to the Christian God, but to all religions. What I mean by putting God (or whatever supreme deitie.deities you worship) in a box is that a sect/church/splinter group sets up rules that define their world and say that thses rules are the only rules and they can prove that these rules are the only rules by citing the Bible, or the Koran, or the Talmund, or whatever holy work they are fixated on. That's putting God in a box- making rules of conduct for a being/beings that by definition cannot be understood or manipulated. If they could, they would not be God/Allah/gods/whatever.

I know a bunch of poeple look somewhere besides the good old US for extremists, but I can tell you right now we have plenty of them! The difference in our country is that we have so many religions, plus a sprinkling of agnostics, atheists, and pagans, that the chances of one becoming strong enough to run over the rest and enforce, socially or otherwise, their rules on the rest of us are small. And let me tell you, there are PLENTY who would. I could point fingers. but I won't demean myself by stooping to their level.

I am a Christian, and I follow the basic rules for my culture and my religion because they work for me. I am going to that Sunday School class to find out if what I've heard is correct, that most major religions support many of the rules that mine does- ie, spiritual seeking takes work, that giving to others who truly need it makes the world a better place, and that a healthy respect for myself and others will make the world a better place too.

I also believe that I am not better than others. I am different from others, I have my own virtures and vices,and they have theirs. I try to see that the vices are and make them better, and I try to keep my virtures and make them better.

Most people who put God in a box want to believe they are better than others, or that there is a easy way to spiritual peace, by following set rules. But wishing doesn't make it so.

Voltaire said it best when he said that God created mankind, and ever since we've been returning the favor.

Current Mood: pensive

I got the flu shot yesterday, and last night I started to regret. This morning I regretted it more.

I am not allergic to the flu shot, though many are. But I do get a mild fever and aches type of reaction to it. Coffee and Tylenol got me over it enough to work in the yard and get some excercise, but now I feel sore again.

The exercise is important, as I am trying to lose weight. I have four pounds to go before I'm not overweight anymore. About two years ago, I lost 19 pounds. Then I regained it after a very unpleasent encounter with a yellow jacket nest (my sons counted twenty wasps that were somewhere on or in my clothes, and I got somehere in the region of fifteen stings. Needless to say I was out of work for a day. Even my doctor felt sorry for me. Recovery involved a predisone taper, and predisone, it appears, makes me hungry. I gained six pounds in a week. Fortunately for me, some of it was water weight from the swelling and it went away quick. The rest was fat, and losing fat is a long and tedious process.

As a result, however, I am finally getting more fit. I am trying to walk a mile and a half to two miles, or work in the yard for an hour every day. Since I have almost an acre of yard to mow with a self-propelled mower, this is not as irritating as it might otherwise be.

As I have asthma, however, a flu shot is a good idea. I don't have bad asthma. I did for a time, and found out later it was due to living in a duplex with mold. The worst of the asthma went away two months after I moved into my brand spanking new modular home. Except for the time I caught bronchitis and it took three months for me to finally get over it.

Getting older is a bitch. I'm sure that is not news to most the the population.

Current Mood: sick

I attended a writing workshop-free- yesterday, and I am still digesting the results.

First off, part of what he said was something most of us already knew-it's hard to get published commercially! I have spoken to two people who have managed it. There were several others who published through an internet company, one with real hands on books and other with e-books. The man holding the workshop has published most of his books privately, and from the way he speaks, he has managed to break even on his costs.

Now, right now I don't have a novel. I have ideas for one, but that's it. I have written a novel that after revision, became a novelette. i need to rewrite the beginning, at least, and maybe then it will creep back into novel size.

The real thing I need is someone who will read my stuff and tell me what does or does not work. At the same time, that costs, and I am not sure I want to spend the money right now. I could, I think, take classes in creative writing somewhere- I think there's a local college that teaches it- but then again, that's money, and maybe wasted money at that.

I did buy the book with the publishers and magazines that buy stuff. Maybe I should concentrate on writing a full novel or set of short stories for a novel and go from there.

Current Mood: contemplative

I'm finally out of my writer's block! Not only am I working on a new story from an old idea, I have an idea for a fanfic and for a possible novel!

The fanfin is bounced off of Transformers 3 screenplay novel. I loved the action on the last Transformers movie, but the story line sucked in a lot of places. The original screenplay, before Michael Bay fucked it over- please note that I mean exactly that, and I very rarely use profanity even at home- had a lot more interaction of Sam and Sentinal. It had Megatron survive as well as Optimus, though Optimus executed Sentinel. Cybertron was not destroyed. Sam stopped the space bridge, by throwing Dylan in it. That son of a bitch Bay did not want another movie coming after his and showing it up for the crap it was. And while a lot of you (meaning most of the guys) got something out of seeing Carly's legs, I sure didn't.

In other words, if that jackass Bay had followed the screenplay, the movie would have been one hell of a lot better.

However, in my AU, Optimus would be thrown into stasis by Sentinel, who then kills Megatron. Starscream, Soundwave, and a lot of the other Decepticons who died in the movie will remain dead, as Sentinel was not all that impressed with them. He needs builders and workers now, not sadistic killers.

The surviving Autobots are rounded up and sent with Optimus and the sparklings to Mars or the Moon, where they can be left to their own devices but are unable to leave, and left to raise the sparklings along with a few other projects.

Sentinel tried to take the Matrix from Optimus, and goes on a trip to visit the Ancients. They tell him that he is not worthy to handle the Matrix, but that he can redeem himself. They also tell him that one other person besides Optimus can handle the Matrix "the one who has already earned the right by his sacrifice, as Optimus did." Sentinel leaves the Matrix with Optimus, who remains in stasis.

Sam and the survivors to both Lennox and Epps' teams retreated into Chicago, which is sealed off. Sentinel calls off the Decepticons left, and tells them to leave the humans alone, but not allow anyone else to leave. From there, he uses his study of humans to begin their change from an independent species to a subservent one.

Epps and his team get out to spread the word of what happens; Carly and Sam are with them, but get cut off by a patrol. At some point, Carly is away from Sam, recognized by one of the Cybertronians, and taken back to Dylan. Sam is caught up in a press gang, and winds up being on one of the first working teams to go to Cybertron to start the rebuilding. Sam is not recognized as the Cybertronians who took and work with him are new to humans and he has grown a beard.

For that reason Sentinel is not able to find him for quite some time. Then, when touring an area that is being rebuilt, he hears that one of the humans are caught in a sentient factory which has been restarted. The factory recognizes Sam as sentient and gets him out, where he lands in his supervisor's hands before Sentinel's eyes. Sentinel claims Sam, though the supervisor protests that Sam is one of his best workers.

I haven't gotten much further yet. But that's a start. I want to get my original story going a little better and reread the screenplay novel before I start working on this. But I think it will be a good fanfic.

If you are reading this, give me an opinion!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Phantom of the Opera

I have been learning how posting on a blog is different from posting on Fanfiction.net, and I have to say, there is certainly a learning curve here.

I was spoiled by the fanfiction site, in a way. It is much more structured than a blog is. In fact, I was not aware that blogs could host communities with stories until I read about them in someone's profile. Of course, on the fanfiction site, there is somewhat more regulation. There has to be.

Therefore I had to learn that mediators of communities have their own rules. Thus far I have posted in two communities, and on both I messed up and had to correct. Which is fine- now I know to look for what moderators of communities want. In my defence, I did read through the rules; on one I did not understand what was needed, and in the second, the rule was there but it was on the side in small print and I did not see it.

Now, both moderators let me know that the problem was, and I corrected it. After all, this is their community. The difference was in how they corrected, and in response, my attitude towards their correction.

This first was kind in pointing out the problem and gave me a link on how to do it (in this case, make a cut). It took me a while, but I did get it right. I did not mind making the change; it was my first post. She also sent me a private message, so that it was not attached to the fiction.

The second also told me what was wrong, and how to correct. However, he was cold about it. He responded by the comments page, meaning that anyone who reads the fic knows I messed up. I did not appreciate the attitude or the method of correction. I almost withdrew my post, but decided to chalk the matter up as a learning experience and have posted both parts of the fiction.

Which is not getting any comments, so I guess I may as well have saved myself the trouble.

What amused me later was my own attitude. Both asked me for something reasonable, and I followed through, but the nicer one did not make me feel like an idiot, and the second did.

Chances are that I won't post in the community again, and I can't help but wonder if that was his intention.

Current Mood: irritated

I'm sitting at home after coming back from work an hour early, due to a problem with the computer system at work.

I am a medical coding consultant. I read medical records for information to generate medical codes for diagnosis and procedures. The codes are used for two purposes: One is to gather information for statistics. The other, and the most important for the hospital, is to determine payment. I'm called a consultant because I go from place to place and fill in when places get behind. No medical facility wants to get behind on their coding because just like everybody else, they want their money and they want it as quickly as possible.

Well, this facility has the new electronic record. Everything in on the computer now. All regular coders for the facility are working from home now, and they LOVE it. Other than saving on gas, wear and tear on their cars, and makeup, they can look like something the cat dragged in and still do their work. They can eat at the computer and take a nap during lunch. They can wait out a computer outage by watching TV and get back to work when the system comes back up.

The bad part about being a consultant that works at the facility kicks in at this point. The facility does not want me to have downtime (not at what they are paying me. Trust me, I do not work for cheap) but they are stuck. At the same time, because I do not work for cheap and I do not want them looking for someone else, I accept when they ask me to go home and make up my time during the week.

All this-because the network went down.

What is worse, the medical staff also uses the system for background on people who have already visited the facility. While this is more useful information than something they need right now dammit, it is still very much of an issue.

Now, I agree that the electronic system is better than the old one. It takes finesse now to cherry-pick, meaning sneak the easy records and leave the hard ones for someone else, without being caught. It means that more than one people can look at the record at a time. There is a lot less dust in the medical records department. Paper sucks up and distribute dust, and I have asthma, so this is a real plus for me.

But on days like this-well, I could wish we were a little behind the times.

Current Mood: contemplative

Blah.

Here I am, I get on LiveJournal to check out other fanfiction sites, and maybe find a new spot for some of my fanfictions, and I've got major writer's blah.

I just feel a littel burned out, I guess. I wrote several fanfictions for video games, and then ran out of inspiration when I started traveling and did not get to watch my kids playing video games. Then the Transformers RotF came out, and it had so many plot holes it BEGGED for fanfiction. That really got me going. How much? Between August of 2009 to July 2011, I wrote 369,239 words of Transformers fanfiction. It helped that I am now at home.

That is not counting that I took November 2010 to write a NANO challenge novel (now edited down to only 36,000 words and no longer a novel, sadly) and 34000 words in original fiction short stories, several of which are in short story contests as I have not yet gotten up the nerve to send any in for publication. Maybe I should post them here and get critiques. Just a thought.

Hmmm. Added together, that's 439239 words, not too very far from half a million. Until I wrote it down I did not realize how much I had done.

The thing is, I don't want to take too much of a break. I like writing. I enjoy the discipline of crafting a story. I go to a writer's workshop so I can get feedback on my original fiction, because to know if a story is getting boring, it takes an audience. I knew the story in my head; I need to know if it's coming across. On fanfiction.net, I do get reviews- and let me tell you, getting an enthusiatic review will keep you writing! I have also gotten a little constructive criticism, but really, not enough- except when I don't get hits or reviews, or people don't favorite. I guess that's feedback of a kind.

I do want to keep writing original fiction. I have created one world, and I'll keep writing on that for a time, I think. I do have an idea crawling through my head on a new facfiction based on the last movie- an AU where Megatron dies, Sentinal rules, Optimus is in stasis with all of the other Autobots but Ratchet, Carly is being kept as Dylan's mistress, and Sam hid, only to be swept up in a press gang and sent to Cybertron to work in one of the factories, where a Cybertronian finds him and takes him to Sentinel, who has been looking for him for some time- but not for the reason Sam thinks at first.

Well, time will tell if the creative juices will churn enough to throw up another story soon. I did just finish a short one this week, so maybe I'm not being as lazy as I think.