Fiction: Be Careful What you Wish For
Sep. 23rd, 2011 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmaryrWishes
“Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.”
Nothing, absolutely nothing, will bring home the truth of that statement like dealing with a wizard. I can give you a story to illustrate.
My grandfather used to visit about once a month. My best friend Mellie loved seeing him, because she thought he was a hoot. I heard her tell someone once he was a weird rich old man from somewhere in the Orient who didn’t approve of my dad’s marriage but wanted to get to know his granddaughter when his son died. Well, she got the family part almost right.
Pops is a wizard. Wizards can make a gesture and alter reality. How much and how long depends on how powerful the wizard is and what they do. My mother was a telepath, but she was human, and while I have some unusual abilities myself, I am not a wizard. Dad was weak, part of the reason he was glad to stay in our world with Mom, but Pops is powerful. I was getting dressed for a Little Theatre play when Pops banged at the door. I threw on a housecoat and ran downstairs, close enough to the door that he could hear me, and yelled for him to come in. In the next moment he was standing in the living room. He could have come in himself, but he popped in on me once while I was undressed, and after that he knocked first.
“Ancestors,” he said, regarding my housedress. He was dressed, as usual, in his white three piece suit. “This is uglier than your usual attire.”
“I’m getting ready to see a play. Mellie’s in it.”
“I will attend with you,” he said. “I like theatre.” He followed me upstairs. I was about to shoo him away when he saw my dress. “Very lovely,” he said in an approving voice, and snapped his fingers. Just like that, I was dressed. Actually, I was dressed in more than I expected; I found I was wearing a pearl necklace. “Opps,’ he said. “Well,just enjoy them.”
We drove to the high school theatre where the play was being held, with Pops holding on to the door handle the whole way. “Pops, we aren’t even going fifty,” I said.
“This dangerous machine runs on gas. The explosion at your house was from gas. It could explode any moment,” he said. I just huffed. It wasn’t the first time we’d had this argument. Momma and Daddy died in an gas explosion with a fire at our house, so I guess his paranoia made sense. He’d never been to the school auditorium and he wasn't related to Mellie, so he couldn’t just pop over the way he came in the house. He did enjoy the play, deigning to clap when everyone else did.
Afterward we took Mellie and her mother Juanita to the local nice restaurant. When we arrived, Juanita pointed at the lot across the street. The building there was abandoned and beginning to fall apart. “Dio, that is such an eyesore!” she said, her black eyes flashing.
“It’ll never happen,” I said, knowing the cheap old crank that owned it.
"I wish it would just fall in. Then the city would force him to clean up his lot!"
She ordered a bottle of wine with her meal. I got a Coke, and Pops got iced tea. We talked about the play while we ate. Both Mellie and Juanita got giggly on the wine. Juanita tried to talk Pops into trying Mexican food, but Pops adores lasagna. The waitress was nice but harried, and when she brought refills, she brought both Pops and I more Coke.
I’ve always steered Pops away from carbonated drinks, because sometimes, when something unexpected happens to a wizard, they alter reality by accident. I’d excused myself to go to the bathroom, so I wasn’t there to catch the mistake. He tried the drink and liked it, so he drank the whole glass.
Now, what in normal people is slightly rude but funny is anything but a joke to a wizard, especially a powerful one. Uncontrolled actions-which include some unexpected bodily functions- can have uncontrolled results. I was returning to the table when Pops passed me hurrying out of the restaurant. Pops never hurries-he’s too aware of his dignity. I followed, unable to think why he was so scared and starting to get scared myself.
He tore across the street, to the front of the derelict building. Mellie and Juanita came up behind me, just as Pops let out a monster belch. We heard it clearly from across the street. The building collapsed. The roof went first, and then the walls, one by one, until only one was left standing. He let out one more, and that last wall went down as well.
I looked at the two women beside me. They looked back. “Good thing your Pops is too embarrassed to burp in public,” Mellie said, and started to giggle. I started to giggle with her.
“Well, looks like I got what I wished for, if the place was that wobbly,” Juanita said. "But its a good thing he didn't try the refried beans, or we'd have a fire!" She didn’t bother with giggles; she let loose a belly laugh that swept me and Mellie with her.
Pops came back over. “Even the drinks here explode,” he complained.
“Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.”
Nothing, absolutely nothing, will bring home the truth of that statement like dealing with a wizard. I can give you a story to illustrate.
My grandfather used to visit about once a month. My best friend Mellie loved seeing him, because she thought he was a hoot. I heard her tell someone once he was a weird rich old man from somewhere in the Orient who didn’t approve of my dad’s marriage but wanted to get to know his granddaughter when his son died. Well, she got the family part almost right.
Pops is a wizard. Wizards can make a gesture and alter reality. How much and how long depends on how powerful the wizard is and what they do. My mother was a telepath, but she was human, and while I have some unusual abilities myself, I am not a wizard. Dad was weak, part of the reason he was glad to stay in our world with Mom, but Pops is powerful. I was getting dressed for a Little Theatre play when Pops banged at the door. I threw on a housecoat and ran downstairs, close enough to the door that he could hear me, and yelled for him to come in. In the next moment he was standing in the living room. He could have come in himself, but he popped in on me once while I was undressed, and after that he knocked first.
“Ancestors,” he said, regarding my housedress. He was dressed, as usual, in his white three piece suit. “This is uglier than your usual attire.”
“I’m getting ready to see a play. Mellie’s in it.”
“I will attend with you,” he said. “I like theatre.” He followed me upstairs. I was about to shoo him away when he saw my dress. “Very lovely,” he said in an approving voice, and snapped his fingers. Just like that, I was dressed. Actually, I was dressed in more than I expected; I found I was wearing a pearl necklace. “Opps,’ he said. “Well,just enjoy them.”
We drove to the high school theatre where the play was being held, with Pops holding on to the door handle the whole way. “Pops, we aren’t even going fifty,” I said.
“This dangerous machine runs on gas. The explosion at your house was from gas. It could explode any moment,” he said. I just huffed. It wasn’t the first time we’d had this argument. Momma and Daddy died in an gas explosion with a fire at our house, so I guess his paranoia made sense. He’d never been to the school auditorium and he wasn't related to Mellie, so he couldn’t just pop over the way he came in the house. He did enjoy the play, deigning to clap when everyone else did.
Afterward we took Mellie and her mother Juanita to the local nice restaurant. When we arrived, Juanita pointed at the lot across the street. The building there was abandoned and beginning to fall apart. “Dio, that is such an eyesore!” she said, her black eyes flashing.
“It’ll never happen,” I said, knowing the cheap old crank that owned it.
"I wish it would just fall in. Then the city would force him to clean up his lot!"
She ordered a bottle of wine with her meal. I got a Coke, and Pops got iced tea. We talked about the play while we ate. Both Mellie and Juanita got giggly on the wine. Juanita tried to talk Pops into trying Mexican food, but Pops adores lasagna. The waitress was nice but harried, and when she brought refills, she brought both Pops and I more Coke.
I’ve always steered Pops away from carbonated drinks, because sometimes, when something unexpected happens to a wizard, they alter reality by accident. I’d excused myself to go to the bathroom, so I wasn’t there to catch the mistake. He tried the drink and liked it, so he drank the whole glass.
Now, what in normal people is slightly rude but funny is anything but a joke to a wizard, especially a powerful one. Uncontrolled actions-which include some unexpected bodily functions- can have uncontrolled results. I was returning to the table when Pops passed me hurrying out of the restaurant. Pops never hurries-he’s too aware of his dignity. I followed, unable to think why he was so scared and starting to get scared myself.
He tore across the street, to the front of the derelict building. Mellie and Juanita came up behind me, just as Pops let out a monster belch. We heard it clearly from across the street. The building collapsed. The roof went first, and then the walls, one by one, until only one was left standing. He let out one more, and that last wall went down as well.
I looked at the two women beside me. They looked back. “Good thing your Pops is too embarrassed to burp in public,” Mellie said, and started to giggle. I started to giggle with her.
“Well, looks like I got what I wished for, if the place was that wobbly,” Juanita said. "But its a good thing he didn't try the refried beans, or we'd have a fire!" She didn’t bother with giggles; she let loose a belly laugh that swept me and Mellie with her.
Pops came back over. “Even the drinks here explode,” he complained.
