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Death be not Proud
Aug. 11th, 2012 08:57 amOn the second day of my vacation week, my ex-mother-in-law died.
I hate to say that my first reaction was annoyance. I planned to go away the next day, to get away from home and worries for a few days. While I had nothing against Nancy, we were never close even when I was still married, and we only met intermittently afterward. My ex and I divorced amicably, and until he refused to help with the kid's college education (community college, but still) we got along decently. I can and do harbor some bitterness towards him regarding that refusal. On that note, let me say that it took seven years for my older son to finish a two-year degree while futilely seeking employment of any kind, and my younger son has one semester to go, which means it will take him five years. However, Philip has found work, full time with benefits. All despite my ex instead of with his help, for no better reason even with too much encouragement from his mother, my ex never got any kind of degree. For that, ex, receive one big raspberry.
Partly because of this bitterness and because there would be some awkwardness with arrangements, I am not going to the funeral, though the kids are.
But on the way to my vacation, I did cry for Nancy. Our personalities meshed not at all. I am a quiet person, awkward socially, and I do not like groups of people. Nancy was never quiet. She resembled the Autobot Bluesteak, in that she seldom stopped talking. She held on to strong opinions, and went after what she wanted. She was no saint.
She fought her way to a master's degree in education and supported her husband in his fight for his doctorate. She went from a poor beginning to being financially solid, able to afford good homes and to send her children to college. She married a good man and stayed married to him for the rest of her life, not a small accomplishment in this day and age. In this, Nancy proved that determination and hard work leads to solid rewards.
She suffered disappointments. My ex and I eloped, and that hurt both our families. Nancy's reaction to discovering we had only a twin bed was to immediately buy us a double one, and after the initial discovery, she accepted me. She loved her grandchildren. Her daughter's first marriage to her childhood sweetheart ended in a bitter divorce which left that daughter devastated, though she has a much better partner now, and Nancy suffered with her.Nancy and her husband started a business which they could not sustain, though they enjoyed it. These are only the ones I know of; there were others, smaller and larger.
However, she was a good, strong, dependable person. She did her best for the children she taught in a lifetime of teaching. She lived her life with zest. People like her make this world a better place.
One the whole, Nancy, you were a good person and led a good life. In your journey from the caterpillar of this human life, I believe that the butterfly of your spirit possesses bright, glowing colors like the person that you were.
You'll be missed.
I hate to say that my first reaction was annoyance. I planned to go away the next day, to get away from home and worries for a few days. While I had nothing against Nancy, we were never close even when I was still married, and we only met intermittently afterward. My ex and I divorced amicably, and until he refused to help with the kid's college education (community college, but still) we got along decently. I can and do harbor some bitterness towards him regarding that refusal. On that note, let me say that it took seven years for my older son to finish a two-year degree while futilely seeking employment of any kind, and my younger son has one semester to go, which means it will take him five years. However, Philip has found work, full time with benefits. All despite my ex instead of with his help, for no better reason even with too much encouragement from his mother, my ex never got any kind of degree. For that, ex, receive one big raspberry.
Partly because of this bitterness and because there would be some awkwardness with arrangements, I am not going to the funeral, though the kids are.
But on the way to my vacation, I did cry for Nancy. Our personalities meshed not at all. I am a quiet person, awkward socially, and I do not like groups of people. Nancy was never quiet. She resembled the Autobot Bluesteak, in that she seldom stopped talking. She held on to strong opinions, and went after what she wanted. She was no saint.
She fought her way to a master's degree in education and supported her husband in his fight for his doctorate. She went from a poor beginning to being financially solid, able to afford good homes and to send her children to college. She married a good man and stayed married to him for the rest of her life, not a small accomplishment in this day and age. In this, Nancy proved that determination and hard work leads to solid rewards.
She suffered disappointments. My ex and I eloped, and that hurt both our families. Nancy's reaction to discovering we had only a twin bed was to immediately buy us a double one, and after the initial discovery, she accepted me. She loved her grandchildren. Her daughter's first marriage to her childhood sweetheart ended in a bitter divorce which left that daughter devastated, though she has a much better partner now, and Nancy suffered with her.Nancy and her husband started a business which they could not sustain, though they enjoyed it. These are only the ones I know of; there were others, smaller and larger.
However, she was a good, strong, dependable person. She did her best for the children she taught in a lifetime of teaching. She lived her life with zest. People like her make this world a better place.
One the whole, Nancy, you were a good person and led a good life. In your journey from the caterpillar of this human life, I believe that the butterfly of your spirit possesses bright, glowing colors like the person that you were.
You'll be missed.
